This is National Compliment Day, started in 1998 by Kathy Chamberlin and Debby Hoffyman of Hopkinton, NH. Abraham Lincoln said, “Everybody likes a compliment.” He was certainly right.
A compliment is a sincere, genuine expression that connects you to another person, brightens their day, and encourages them in their efforts. According to eventstuff.com, compliments make you happy, boost confidence, build friendships, and improve interpersonal skills.1 This is a simple, positive reinforcement that can be offered to others.
A compliment isn’t flattery – at least, it shouldn’t be. Flattery is spoken against in the Scriptures. Proverbs 26:28 tells us that, “A lying tongue hateth those that are afflicted by it; and a flattering mouth worketh ruin.” To speak with a flattering tongue was so egregious that Paul said in 1 Thessalonians 2:4-5, “But as we were allowed of God to be put in trust with the gospel, even so we speak; not as pleasing men, but God, which trieth our hearts. (5) For neither at any time used we flattering words, as ye know, nor a cloke of covetousness; God is witness.”
How do you know if you are complimenting someone versus flattering? Here’s a couple of simple rules:
- Flattery is calculated whereas compliments tend to be more responsive and spontaneous. The responsive, spontaneous delight in something or someone elicits words of praise and compliments. That song was beautiful! Great job! Your new haircut looks great! Way to keep your eye on the ball. Good hit! Things said in response to the moment are going to tend to be a compliment. Flattery tends to think, plan, and calculate the words and their effects. The reason for that is in the next point.
- Flattery comes from a person looking to their own advantage; compliments are given for someone else’s advantage. Jude 1:16 says, “These are murmurers, complainers, walking after their own lusts; and their mouth speaketh great swelling words, having men’s persons in admiration because of advantage.” A person will flatter you because it is advantageous to them. They don’t really care about how it makes you feel. The flatterer will use their words to manipulate, knowing that everyone loves to have their ego stroked a bit.
Now, that brings up a warning. Everyone does have an ego, tainted, and twisted by the fall of man in the Garden and the effects of inherited sin. We are like the cat that loves to have its fur stroked, arching its back into the petting. How do we keep from letting someone’s compliment go to our head?
1 Corinthians 10:31 reminds us that, “Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.” And the first part of Proverbs 3:6 makes it all very clear. “In all thy ways acknowledge him…” Don’t let a single compliment go by without acknowledging the God who made it all possible. Give HIM the glory, every bit of it and keep none for yourself.
Remember how excited our little kids were to bring an offering to Sunday School? Moms and dads dug change out of their pockets, gave it to the kids, and watched their kids eagerly run into the Sunday School class and drop that change in the offering basket. Those kids gave something to the Lord that had been given to them with exuberant joy. That’s what we have to do with compliments. Give it to the Lord from the hand of someone else with the childlike joy of giving.
Sincerely bless someone with a compliment today. What they do with it is their business. All we can do is hand them something to give back to the Lord.
1https://eventuff.com/national-compliment-day/
