Yesterday was a celebration of one of the most maligned occupations in our society. We might guess that profession is a politician, but we would be wrong even though politicians rank as the most distrusted people in America. They are followed closely by advertisers, stockbrokers, business executives, lawyers, insurance salesmen, journalists, car salesmen, and clergy.
Personally, I think one of the most maligned professions that doesn’t even get ranked in the statistics is the stay-at-home housewife. And yesterday was National Housewives’ Day. It’s a day to honor the stay-at-home mom, a job that is 24/7/365 and typically is dismissed with comments like, “Must be nice!”
Stanford Business School graduate Neha Ruch is the founder of Mother Untitled. Writing for Marie Claire, she shares what it was like for her when she announced her decision to stay at home and raise her child.
“Five months [after my first baby was born], I announced that I wanted to downshift my paid work to two days a week and spend the rest of my time at home enjoying said contentment. Everyone around me—from my husband to my mentors to my mother—had something to say about it…I was meeting women on the playground and in baby classes who occasionally wore athleisure—never aprons. None of us were confined to our homes. We talked about our former careers, new ideas that inspired us, and what we were learning about ourselves during this time. None of us fit the outdated caricature of the stay-at-home mom.
“But all of us felt judged—shamed, even—by someone in our orbit, who thought we were “giving up” on our drive, productivity, success, or worse, our feminism. Even for the most self-assured of us, that shame can cause us to question our choices or feel self-conscious when someone at pick-up asks, “What do you do?” Above all, that shame makes us generally enjoy this time in our lives a little less than we deserve to.
“Fast forward eight years and little progress has been made. Stay-at-home moms still feel judged and shamed for their choice. Last year, when Mother Untitled surveyed 1,200 mothers in full-time stay-at-home motherhood or downshifted careers, more than half of them said they received negative feedback when they announced that they wouldn’t immediately be returning to work. In response to the question, “How do you feel others perceive your decision to become a stay-at-home mom?” the most common answers were “misunderstood, spoiled, and judged.”
“Indeed, nearly 80 percent of our survey participants said they felt that most people don’t understand the work that goes into being a primary caregiver. This lack of understanding adds to the stigma of stay-at-home mothering, which only reinforces the shame.”1
While I certainly understand that some moms have no choice but to work outside the home due to the economy, there is no shame in choosing and sacrificing to stay home with your children, raising them rather than allowing a babysitter to raise them. And stay-at-home moms WORK! They work hard!
Titus 2:3-5 says, “The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; (4) That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, (5) To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”
Paul had similar instructions for Timothy in 1 Timothy 5:14. “I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.”
According to Quartz, “The number of stay-at-home mothers rose dramatically in the US last year. More and more American women are deciding not to work for pay outside the home, and the high cost of childcare is a big reason…many of the over 9,000 women who answered Motherly’s survey want to spend time at home with children…Women are significantly less satisfied at work too, according to data released last week by the Conference Board, a business research organization. ”2
This devotional is not intended to make the moms who must work outside of the home feel badly about themselves. I’m not even trying to make the moms who choose to work outside of the home feel bad. That’s not the intent at all. However, the moms who work inside the home have been made to feel ignorant, lazy, and foolish for their decision for far too long. It’s time to stop shaming moms who stay-at-home. Instead, let’s celebrate them!
“Rather than smear stay-at-home mothers as miserable women who have failed at their careers …the real story points to important policy conclusions. Stay-at-home mothers are not miserable but tend—in general—to find a lot of satisfaction in the work of caring for their families.”3
As we celebrate the stay-at-home mom and laud her contributions to the world, let’s heap upon her the praise heaped upon another woman found in Proverbs 31:27-30. “She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. (28) Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. (29) Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. (30) Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.”
1https://www.marieclaire.com/stay-at-home-motherhood/
2https://qz.com/the-number-of-stay-at-home-mothers-rose-dramatically-in-1850440544
3https://ifstudies.org/blog/number-5-in-2022-are-stay-at-home-mothers-really-miserable
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