In 1999, Fort Lauderdale florist, Heidi Richards Mooeny was looking for a way to increase business sales. Weddings and funerals require a lot of flowers but those are only occasional purchases. Proms, Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day and other events happened only once a year. How could she generate an interest in purchasing flowers on a regular basis.
Then, the idea hit her. Why not declare this day to be National Get Out of the Doghouse Day. Being in the doghouse typically means that a guy has done something to upset his wife and he is in the doghouse.
“In Chapter 16 of Peter Pan, 1911, J. M. Barrie used a plot device in which the father of the family, Mr. Darling, consigned himself to the dog’s kennel as an act of remorse for inadvertently causing his children to be kidnapped. This appears to be an obvious source for the phrase ‘in the doghouse’ and several etymologists have confidently stated it to be just that.”1
To get out of the proverbial doghouse a bit quicker, take home a bunch of flowers and present them to your wife with a heartfelt apology. Assuming your penance is accepted, you will be able to resume normal marital bliss. Flowers are sold, the florist is happy, the wife is happy, and the husband is happy. What could be wrong with that?
Oh, there’s so much wrong with this concept!!!! While it might have been an effective marketing gimmick a couple of decades ago, it created a narrative that must be rewritten.
First, let’s acknowledge that husbands and wives will have their arguments/debates/tiffs/squabbles or whatever other term you might like to attribute to it. Why? Because they are both in the flesh. They see things differently. Seldom is a disagreement one-sided. There is usually wrong done on BOTH sides.
Second, we are never to freeze out a spouse, sending them to the proverbial doghouse as an outcast for bad behavior. That is demeaning, degrading, and despicable! Usually, the reference applies to guys being in the doghouse but if the scenario were reversed with the women in the doghouse, the sexist comments would fly and the fairer sex would be so fair!
Ephesians 4:26-27 says, “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: (27) Neither give place to the devil.” Rectify and reconcile as quickly as possible so that Satan cannot disrupt your marriage further. Shunning a spouse, banishing them from your presence sure sounds like sin to me. Where can you find justification for this in the Bible?
Third, marriage ought to be governed by love. Love for God is first, then a love for each other. Ephesians 5:25 says, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” Older women are instructed in Titus 2:4 to “… teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children.”
Finally, forgiveness cannot be bought or placated with a bouquet of flowers. Chocolate, dinner at a nice restaurant, and other things used as a gesture to buy into the good graces of a surly spouse demonstrates that we neither understand grace or forgiveness. Ephesians 4:32 says, “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” Forgiving in the original Greek is a conjugation of the Greek word for grace. Forgiveness is an unearned, undeserved gift granted by the one who was hurt or offended. Forgiveness is grace in action.
Am I saying that you shouldn’t buy your wife flowers or fix a nice meal for your husband? Absolutely NOT! Do those things as gestures of love rather than tokens of begging. 1 John 3:18 says, “My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.”
1https://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/in-the-doghouse.html#google_vignette
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