In yesterday’s devotional, I mentioned the quote attributed to Benjamin Franklin: “Nothing is certain in this world but death and taxes.” Well, we’ve already dealt with taxes. Let’s deal with death as we “celebrate” today’s National Day Calendar event. This is National Healthcare Decision Day, and the day focuses on your advance health care directives (AHCD).
We would all like to believe that we will independently make our own medical decisions right up until that last breath. However, most often, that is not the case. AHCDs simply specify the wishes of an individual in the event that they cannot make medical decisions for themselves.
AHCDs are difficult discussions to have with loved ones, typically children with their elderly parents. Considering the death of a parent causes even the most faithful of God’s children to pause and reflect, reining in and controlling the emotions so that difficult decisions can be made.
Caring.com offers some perspective on AHCDs. “Living wills and other advance health care directives (AHCDs) offer health care guidance for seniors who cannot speak for themselves. “AHCDs vary from state to state but generally include instructions for end-of-life care, such as resuscitation orders. Older individuals, especially those with chronic illnesses, early-stage dementia, or other health challenges, can benefit from AHCDs. A medical power of attorney (MPOA) should be someone who can remain calm and objective in a medical emergency to ensure the elder’s wishes are carried out.”1 Organ donation desires can also be a part of these directives.
Why is filling out AHCDs an important step? Again, Caring.com offers some helpful understanding:
- Autonomy: It allows your loved one to control their health care decisions, even if they cannot communicate or make decisions for themselves later in life.
- Clarity: It provides clear instructions about your parent or other loved one’s health care preferences to your doctors and caregivers, minimizing ambiguity during moments of crisis.
- Reduced Burden: An advance care directive alleviates the burden on family members and loved ones. They will be spared from making tough decisions without knowing your loved one’s preferences.
- Preventing Conflicts: These documents help prevent potential conflicts or disagreements among family members about the right course of action regarding medical care.
- Peace of Mind: Your loved ones will know that their preferences and wishes will be respected.2
In the crudest of verbiage, many loved ones are left feeling guilty when they must make the decision to “pull the plug.” They feel responsible for “killing” their loved one or feel as if they didn’t allow heroic measures to be taken to save them. This burden of guilt is very real for many, and it plagues them until the day of their own death.
Having been through the deaths of our own parents and grandparents, my wife and I have been in the position of having to make some hard decisions. Though not easy, it is easier when you knew the wishes of the loved one. And, in most of our situations, God took care of the decision long before we had to sign any paperwork.
For the reasons suggested above, I encourage you to get your will, living will, and power of attorney (medical and financial) documents in order. It’s never too soon to do this, either. A financial planner in our area takes her kids to a lawyer when they turn 18 to get these documents. You say, “Why so soon?” She knows they will be going to college, and anything can happen in life. It’s best to be prepared. And, in case you are wondering, if you sign the documents, you aren’t stuck with the decisions for the rest of your life. As long as you are of sound mind, you can change the documents as many times as you wish through the years.
If you have ever had to make a difficult decision in the life of a loved one that culminated in their death, I would like to take the final moments of this devotion to encourage you. I am a firm believer in Job 33:4. “The Spirit of God hath made me, and the breath of the Almighty hath given me life.” We can talk all day about the biology that creates a person. However, the Bible makes it very clear that it is God who makes us in our mother’s womb and it is God who gives us life. And, in case you’re wondering, it is God who made the biology and the ability for reproduction.
I believe Colossians 1:16-17. “For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by him, and for him: (17) And he is before all things, and by him all things consist.” This doesn’t just apply to the planets and the universe. It applies to me as an individual. I am created by God and held together by God. It’s that simple.
And, I believe Job 14:1, 5. “Man that is born of a woman is of few days, and full of trouble. (Amen to that, huh?!?) … (5) Seeing his days are determined, the number of his months are with thee, thou hast appointed his bounds that he cannot pass.” God has already appointed the number of our days. Here’s what that means to me.
DOCTORS do not keep you alive. INTERVENTION is not sustaining your life. People DIE under the care of the best, most qualified doctors in the world when all forms of intervention have been used. And people LIVE without doctors and intervention. Why? Because it is ultimately up to God.
A well-meaning doctor will say, “Once the breathing tube is removed, your loved one will most likely die.” This puts all the power and culpability on a breathing tube and your decision. This is an unnecessary and unfortunate burden. It is not up to you or a breathing tube or any other form of intervention. It’s up to God because HE gave us only so many days to live and a boundary we cannot pass. This is never the decision of the loved one’s family. You didn’t make the decision; GOD did! And He always knows what is best. Release that heavy burden of guilt you are carrying.
Years ago, a Christian doctor in our area was asked by a family member how long they thought their dying loved one had to live. The doctor said, “I’ve stopped answering that question because God has made a fool out of me too many times. I’ve said that they have hours or days and they live for years. I’ve said they have years and they die within hours. Only God knows how many days we have.” The doctor was right.
You should take the time and get all of your AHCDs in order but just know that those documents don’t make the decision, either. You aren’t writing out your own death sentence. God is in charge of it all.
David contemplated this and I’ll end today with what he wrote in Psalms 39:4-5. “LORD, make me to know mine end, and the measure of my days, what it is; that I may know how frail I am. (5) Behold, thou hast made my days as an handbreadth; and mine age is as nothing before thee: verily every man at his best state is altogether vanity. Selah.”
1https://www.caring.com/resources/advance-directive
2Ibid.
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